


reluctant alliances

by rikubraveheart



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akechi Goro is Bad at Feelings, Akechi Goro-centric, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cognitive psience nonsense, Gen, Goro fixing other people’s messes, Haru and Goro Epic Team-up, Identity Issues, M/M, Shuake Isn’t the Focus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29072355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rikubraveheart/pseuds/rikubraveheart
Summary: “We’re taking the offer.”Those are the words that shatter Akechi’s image of Akira Kurusu. A boy he had previously believed to be strong and unshakable, reduced to nothing under the pressure of a madman’s laughable threat on his life.When Akira accepts Maruki’s reality against his own wishes, it’s up to Akechi to fix everything before it’s too late. Used to work on his own, he never expects to be forced to work alongside the most unlikely ally: Haru Okumura, the girl whose father he killed.
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Okumura Haru, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40
Collections: Goro Big Bang 2020





	reluctant alliances

**Author's Note:**

> here's my other fic for the goro big bang! frankly i just took a 6h nap after only sleeping 7h in the past two days and finals are quite literally killing me so the second part will be coming once i get some rest because otherwise i will try to revise it and it'll end up looking worse instead of better. also this is just "how many times can i write the word actually in the same story: the fic".
> 
> [PLEASE check out this amazing piece by @subtitlez because it's PERFECT](https://twitter.com/subtitlez/status/1355298825515134979)  
> my twitter: [@rikubraveheart](https://twitter.com/rikubraveheart)

“We’re taking the offer.”

Those are the words that shatter Goro’s image of Akira Kurusu. He can barely believe what he’s hearing. After everything they’ve gone through, everything he’s faced, a madman’s laughable threat on his life is what makes him bend.

“...Are you serious?” he asks, rage palpable in his voice. He needs to double-check, to make sure this isn’t just some joke product of Akira’s weird sense of humour.

“I am serious.”

This time, the words feel like a knife to his heart. Goro has been betrayed before, more times than he can count, but never like this. Not by someone he had actually grown to respect and care about. Someone he considered his equal.

But he knows this boy. He’s serious, and there’s nothing else he can do to change his mind.

“Well, I have your answer,” Goro replies. “There’s nothing left I can say. Our deal’s _off._ ”

Leaving LeBlanc is harder than ever. For the past few months, this café had started to feel reluctantly like a home. At least, more so than his actual apartment. So, leaving in such a situation, knowing he can never return as long as Akira refuses to think logically, is more painful than he’d ever imagined.

He had forgotten how much losing a home hurt.

His apartment feels as cold as always, the empty walls and neatly arranged furniture welcoming him into solitude. As he lays down on his bed, he reminds himself that this is exactly why he has always worked alone. Akira Kurusu has proven once again that he can trust no one but himself.

He mentally prepares himself for another sleepless night. Those aren’t unusual for him, he’s more than gotten used to his remorses and regrets keeping him awake, but he knows it’s going to be one of the worst nights.

Except he falls asleep almost instantly.

When soft piano music reaches his ears, he opens his eyes to find himself in a prison cell.

His first thought is that Maruki must’ve gotten fed up with his attitude and landed him in jail instead of giving him his utmost desire, whatever that might be. But it makes no sense, because even if that was the case this cell looks way too old to be from an actual jail.

He looks up and spots two people in the middle of the room. He only recognizes one of them.

“Welcome to the Velvet Room,” says the long-nosed man. “I’m Igor, pleased to make your acquaintance. We have summoned you here today to speak of a very important matter. Do not fret, though, as you’re fast asleep in the real world.”

“Greetings once again, Harbinger,” says Lavenza. Goro hadn’t gotten to talk to her that much at the Shujin Academy infirmary, but he knows that she’s an ally who wants Maruki’s reality gone as much as he does. “I’m afraid we must request your aid in this dire situation we find ourselves in.”

“I don’t know what you expect me to do about it,” he says. “It’s over. Akira has taken Maruki’s offer, and the moment I wake up I’ll probably be as trapped in that reality as everyone else.”

He’s not stupid, he knows Maruki won’t make the same mistake again. Leaving him aware of the fake reality will only cause him trouble, so he’ll probably make sure that his plan is flawless this time around.

“We can help you with that matter,” says Igor. “With our assistance, you will not be affected by the pretend God’s machinations. Call it a contract, if you may. We will give you immunity to his mind games so you can fix reality.”

This somehow makes him mad. There’s always a bubbling rage under his skin, but nothing makes it come to play more than people trying to use him for their benefit. He’s done with being someone else’s puppet.

“As if I’d take anything from you. The Phantom Thieves told me everything. The God of Control, his game, and how Akira and I came to play in it. You like to act as if you’re different from him, but you used Akira just as that God used me,” Goro spits out.

What does it say about him, that even after his betrayal Goro is still thinking about Akira and how much he suffered because of these people.

“We understand your concerns,” says Lavenza. “And I assure you it is not our intention to use you. But you are this world’s last hope. The Trickster’s desires have become distorted, and only you can right his wrongs now.”

The little girl sounds genuine. Goro knows she’s right: this may be his last opportunity to destroy Maruki’s happy-go-lucky reality.

“Very well, I’ll do it,” he finally gives in. “But not because you asked me to, and especially not because Kurusu needs my help. I’m doing it because I refuse to be another God’s puppet, even if said god is just a glorified school therapist with too much power in his hands.”

A soft smile appears on Lavenza’s face. “Thank you, truly,” she says. “I’m certain you’ll be able to find allies in some of the Trickster’s confidants. Not all of them have been completely thwarted by the pretend God’s deception.”

At this, he snorts. “Allies? You’re confused, if I’m going to do this I’m going to do it on my own.”

The smile on Lavenza’s face disappears and is replaced by distress. “Please, Harbinger, heed my warnings. This isn’t a mission for one single person. You _will_ need help to get through this crisis.”

At Goro’s scoff, she tries to keep talking, but that’s when the room starts to fade and he wakes up in his apartment.

The first thing he notices is the walls. They aren’t empty anymore. Now there’s a series of photographs hanging up, all of them depicting him with other people. It amuses him that Maruki somehow thinks his perfect reality is one where he and the Phantom Thieves are _friends._

He had tried that with one of them and look at how it had turned out.

Well, not gone, but almost completely faded from reality.

This is either the effect of Mementos and reality being close to merging, or whatever was keeping the palace visible before is no longer in effect.

Luckily for him, it’s still visible enough that he should be able to enter it. Even if he has to squint to be able to see it.

But since the world seems to be completely against him (it always has) he can’t even find the entrance. He knows where it _should_ be. He’s crossed it multiple times during the past month. But it’s completely gone.

At that moment, Lavenza’s words play in his head. _You won’t be able to get through this crisis on your own._

 _Well, fuck,_ Goro thinks.

He hadn’t thought he’d had to deal with anyone else while doing this. The less dead weight, the better. But if he’s correct, and Lavenza’s words mean what he thinks they mean, he _will_ need someone else.

Akira, Yoshizawa and he had entered the palace together from moment one. If his suspicions are correct, the palace was visible because more than one person was aware of the true nature of that reality. 

The power of cognition is powerful, he remembers, and he hates every bit of it.

He supposes being able to work on his own would have been far too convenient for this situation.

He tries to keep his mind calm and rational and ponders his options. Lavenza had mentioned Akira’s confidants which, he guesses, means the Phantom Thieves. He would rather not work with any of them, but he admits the first days in the palace with Akira and Yoshizawa hadn’t been too unpleasant.

Since Akira is not an option for obvious reasons, that leaves Yoshizawa.

He takes out his phone in hopes that he somehow has acquired Yoshizawa’s number and is relieved when he does, in fact, find it there. He had saved her contact information when they had been working together to cross the palace the first time around, and he’s glad the fake reality hasn’t changed that one detail.

Goro rings her phone and waits for an answer.

 _“Akechi-senpai?”_ he hears Yoshizawa’s voice through the line.

“Yoshizawa,” he says. “Where are you right now? I need to talk to you about something important.”

 _“Sorry, senpai, I’m not in Tokyo right now,”_ she answers. _“I’m on the other side of the country, remember? Kasumi and I are attending a meet.”_

After she says those words, he’s certain he won’t find an ally in her.

Goro silently curses Maruki. The man isn’t as stupid as he originally thought. He noticed making Sumire into Kasumi wasn’t enough, so he brought the actual Kasumi back instead. Makes him wonder why he hadn’t done that from the start.

They had barely managed to snap her out of it last time. It’s clear to him he’ll never make her see reason on his own. Not when she’s gotten everything she wanted and more, for once.

After that realization, he finds himself at loss. He can’t go into the palace alone, and he can count on the only person he thought he’d find an ally in. There is, of course, the option of the other Phantom Thieves, but he wouldn’t even know where to start with them.

The clock is ticking, and with each tick, their doom draws closer.

His feet bring him to Kichijoji subconsciously. He hadn’t even realized he had gotten on the train.

And it’s there where he finds the answer to his problem.

“Oh, Akechi-kun” says Okumura. Her voice startles him. Out of all the Phantom Thieves, Okumura had been the one who was the wariest of him. Not like he could blame her.

“Okumura,” he says. “What are you doing here?”

He’s rather blunt with his words. It feels good, somehow, to have dropped his Detective Prince persona completely. He’s no longer as careful with his words as he was when he was a celebrity. He can actually speak his mind.

And, of course, he doesn’t have to pretend to like people.

“I was scouting potential locations for a Big Bang Burguer here with my father the other day, and we’re here today to make the final decision,” she explains. “He’s around here somewhere too.”

At the mention of Kunikazu Okumura, he almost cringes. He doesn’t regret having killed him in the real world, not as he’ll ever tell the girl in front of him. That man was a piece of shit in every sense, and he can’t find it in his heart to regret having finished him off.

He does regret the pain it brought his daughter, though. He knows the pain of loss firsthand.

“Sounds nice,” he says, not a bit of sarcasm in his voice.

They stay silent after that. It’s awkward, and he almost laughs at the thought that not even Maruki’s fake reality can make him and Okumura have a proper friendship.

“You know, Akechi-kun,” says Okumura out of the blue. “I don’t know why, but… I don’t like you.”

Akechi’s eyes open wide at her words. A spark of hope ignites in his heart. Now this, this could actually mean something.

“How so?” he says, trying to sound as neutral as possible.

“I don’t know,” continues talking the girl. “You haven’t done anything but be nice to me, and we’ve supposedly been friends for a long time, so why do I feel this _rage_ every time I look at you?”

Her voice is trembling, and she sounds about to cry. In any other context, this would be bad, but if she remembers how she felt about him in the real world there might be some hope to snap her out of Maruki’s reality.

She keeps talking before he can say anything. “And it’s not just you, too,” she says. “Why am I angry at my father? Why do I feel this sadness, this anger, every time I look at him?”

He thinks that it’s now or never. Whatever he says next will determine whether he can find an ally in Okumura, or whether he will have to keep looking aimlessly for someone to help him unlock the entrance of Maruki’s palace.

“You’re allowed to be angry, you know,” he says. “You don’t have to pretend to be okay with everything when you aren’t. Be angry at me, be angry at your father, but stop bottling everything up.”

At that moment, it’s like something strikes Okumura. She brings her hand to her mouth in surprise, a horrified expression painting her face, and she even drops the handbag she had been holding.

“You…!” she exclaims.

A wicked smile makes its way through his face. _Bingo._

“How did this happen? I thought we were nearly done with Maruki’s palace,” she says, more talking to herself than talking to him. “What did you _do_?”

The last part is loaded with venom, an obvious accusation to his person. Her face is scrunched up in fury. “For once, it wasn’t me,” he says, amused. “I’d tell you to ask your _leader_ but I’m sure he’s as mindless right now as everyone in this reality.”

The surprise is back on her face. “Akira-kun did this?” she mutters. “But why would he…?”

He could explain, but he’d rather not have that conversation with Haru Okumura. Even though he’s sure she’d be delighted to know what will be of him if they manage to go back to their reality, he’d rather spare himself having to explain to her that the whole reason they’re in this mess is that her leader pitied him too much to let him choose his own destiny.

Okumura still looks at him like this is somehow his fault and, well, she isn’t entirely wrong. She seems to have taken his advice to let herself be angry all too well, because her whole body language screams of murder.

“Nevermind that, I’m sorry to tell you that in order to right this reality we’re gonna have to work together,” he says. Better get it out fast, before he makes up his mind and tries to find some other way to do this.

Her expression doesn’t change a bit, and that’s when he knows this is gonna be harder than he thought. “I don’t need to work with _you,_ ” she says. “I’m going to go to find my friends, people who actually care for the world, and we’ll defeat Maruki together.”

She storms off before he can tell her that it’s not that easy, that they might as well be the only ones who are aware of the nature of the world they’re currently in. With a defeated sigh, he decides to let Okumura realize that on her own.

She probably has his contact information, anyway. 

After a visit to the Jazz Club that is a lot less calming than he thought it would be (that place brings too many memories back, now) he goes back to his apartment, awaiting Okumura to contact him impatiently.

He isn’t even surprised when he wakes up in the Velvet Room again.

“Welcome back, Harbinger,” says Lavenza. “I see you realized the nature of the threat you’re facing.”

“Spare me the condescension. Yes, you were right, I was wrong. I do need other people to help me with this. Whatever,” he says. “It’s up to Okumura now.”

“The Empress will come to her senses,” speaks Igor. “It’s only a question of time.”

Akechi nods. For all he knows about Haru Okumura, he knows she isn’t stupid or wouldn’t let something like pride get in the way of saving her friends. She’ll come back, eventually.

“Moreso, you’ve been able to completely break the pretend God’s hold on her mind. That is not an easy feat,” Lavenza congratulates him. “It won’t be that easy to do that with the others.”

Akechi blinks. “The others…?”

He hopes she isn’t implying what he thinks she is. It’s one thing to work with one Phantom Thief, and one he can stand at that, but he refuses to have to deal with Sakamoto or the cat.

“I’m afraid one isn’t enough to get you to the heart of the pretend God’s distorted desires. To advance through his palace, you’ll need to change the cognition of the Trickster’s other confidants,” she explains.

He sighs. That’s just what he needed.

“Of course it wouldn’t be this easy,” he says.

“Good luck, Harbinger,” says Lavenza. “It looks like our time is over.”

This time, instead of getting out of bed immediately, he allows himself to mope for a while. There’s no rush, anyway. Until Okumura contacts him, there’s not much he can do. If he’s lucky, she’ll be able to make at least one of her friends see reason.

Speaking of the Devil, that’s when his phone rings. He doesn’t even need to check the caller ID to know who it is.

“Good morning, Okumura-san,” he says.

“You were right. None of them knows,” she says, cutting to the chase. “And I wasn’t able to do for them what you did for me. They didn’t even seem to know what I was talking about.”

This surprises him. He had hoped that at least one of them would react in some way to her words, but if what she says is true then the situation is even more complicated than he’d thought.

“Meet me in Odaiba,” he says. Time to get to work.

Okumura seems as displeased to have to work with him as he is, which brings him some sort of comfort. At least they won’t be wasting any time with pleasantries. 

“It’s barely even visible…” she says, looking at the palace.

He nods. “As far as I know, it’s due to the cognition. Barely anyone knows it’s there, so we can’t see it.”

Okumura seems to understand. “That’s why you needed me. To access the palace.”

“Indeed. And I’m afraid we may need some of your other friends, too. Or, we need them to be at least partially aware that something isn’t right,” he explains. “Otherwise, there’s a chance that we won’t be able to go through the whole palace.”

Okumura nods. “Before we go in, I want to make something clear,” she says. “I don’t like you. I frankly don’t want to work with you. I’m only doing this because I have no other choice. I’m never going to forgive you for what you did to my father.”

Akechi is fine with that. He’s long since accepted that not everyone is going to like him. That's why he was able to shed his celebrity persona and start acting like himself. And, truly, he’d be worried if she did forgive him. 

He extends his hand, offering a handshake. “Fair enough. Let’s call this a deal, then. We will work together to beat Maruki, and once we’re back to our reality we won’t have to speak to each other ever again.”

Okumura eyes his hand cautiously, but finally takes and shakes it. “Deal.”

Looking into her eyes at that moment it’s like looking into a raging fire. The anger that had been previously subsided by her desire to be nice to other people is now in plain view. Haru Okumura reminds him of himself, in a way.

They’re both, after all, angry people pretending to be someone else for the sake of other people. Although he supposes his case was a lot more extreme.

The moment is broken after a few seconds and they make their way towards the entrance of the palace. He’s relieved to find that this time the entrance is actually there.

“Something feels different,” says his companion.

“It’s probably due to Maruki’s cognition,” he says. “Right now, he believes he’s won. There’s a chance the palace will be different inside, even. Let’s change that, shall we?”

He gives her one of his unnerving smiles, but he can tell she’s looking forward to ending Maruki as well. Yes, she truly reminds him of himself in some aspects.

They enter the palace, and the first floor at least seems to look the same as before. Even though there doesn’t seem to be a lot of shadows around, their outfits still change. The lack of shadows is, no doubt, a result of Maruki claiming his victory too early.

It’s okay, though, because they’ll crush him beneath their feet.

They manage to walk a bit through the floor before one of the shadows notices their presence and attacks them. He’s about to summon Loki and rapidly end the fight with a Megidolaon, but Okumura summons her persona faster than he does.

“Mapsiodyne!” she exclaims and, just like that, the shadows are gone.

Akechi blinks, surprised, because he doesn’t remember Okumura’s fighting style being this aggressive before. When he looks at her, he sees that fire in her eyes again. 

_Ah, I see,_ he thinks. _Who knew she was repressing all that_.

Thanks to both their manpower they’re able to cross the floor faster than he’d have thought. The only problem with both of them having a hostile battle style, though, is that they tire themselves out way too quickly.

He enters the nearest safe room he can find and drags Okumura in with him.

“We need… to relax,” he says, panting from exhaustion. “At this rate, we’ll run out of stamina even before we finish the first floor.”

Okumura raises an eyebrow. “So now going all out is a problem?” she says. “Because, last time I checked, you never minded it when you were the one in disarray and we were the ones doing the damage control.”

He breathes in and out, trying to calm himself down. “It’s true, I’m not the best at teamwork. I’m used to working alone, and the only reason I was able to work with you lot was that Joker was the one calling the shots,” he admits. Something akin to satisfaction appears on Okumura’s face. “But, right now, we’re only two people. And if we want to have any chance of winning this, we need to think things through.”

Her face softens after that. “...You’re right, I’m sorry. I got carried away,” she says. Even now, when she’s boiling with anger, her niceness still comes to play. “I’m just… really mad.”

“I get it, trust me, I do,” he says. “Which is why I know we won’t get anywhere like this.”

They understand each other, even if it only lasts for a few seconds. Soon enough, they’re back to being hostile to each other. 

After resting for a bit and recovering some of their stamina, they continue their way through the first floor. The layout, at least on this floor, seems to be much the same. Until they bump into a closed door.

“This is different,” he says. “This door wasn’t locked before.”

“Think there’s some kind of mechanism to open it?”

He’s about to answer when a voice interrupts them. “Haru?”

It is, unmistakenly, the voice of Kunikazu Okumura.

“Father? What are you doing here?” she asks. “No, you’re dead. This isn’t real.”

He readies himself for battle. “This must be one of Maruki’s tricks. Be careful, we don’t know what's going to happen.”

He expects the fake Okumura to attack them, to turn into some kind of monster, but instead, he just talks.

“Why are you doing this, Haru?” he asks his daughter, completely ignoring Akechi’s presence. “Why do you want me dead?”

The girl beside him gasps. “That’s not…!” she exclaims. “That’s not it!”

“Is it, though? We could be happy together, here. I could be the father you wanted me to be,” he keeps talking. “But instead you prefer to work with the boy that murdered me to kill me again.”

He knows what Maruki is doing, now. Not only is he trying to appeal to Haru’s emotions, to convince her to stay in this reality, but he’s also trying to turn her against him by telling her that destroying this reality would be no better than what Akechi did to her father. It’s disgusting.

“I…” says Haru, now rendered speechless. There’s sadness on her face. It reminds him of Akira’s expression the day Maruki revealed Akechi’s situation.

He hates it. He’s about to interfere, to remind Haru that this isn’t real and those are just Maruki’s words and not her father’s, but before he can say anything the fire is back in her eyes.

“Bullshit,” she says. “That’s just… it’s bullshit!”

The fake Okumura seems to be taken aback by her reaction.

“There’s _nothing_ I would want you to be the caring, loving father I always wanted. To be by my side and tell me you love me. But I learned long ago that it isn’t _you._ ” She’s tearing up, now. If it was one of her friends here instead of Akechi, they’d probably try to comfort her. “I didn’t even realize how angry at you I was until you were dead, isn’t that funny? I should have been mourning like the perfect little daughter, but instead, I was _angry_.”

The expression on fake Okumura’s face is sad. It almost looks genuine.

“I’m sorry, father. I love you, I always will, but I can’t choose you over the world.”

Then, the man’s face transforms into a smile. “You’re a good person, Haru. Just like your mother.”

And then he disappears.

Silence reigns the palace for a few seconds, and when Akechi turns to look at Haru he sees she’s still bearing that saddened expression. “We should leave it here for today,” he says.

He isn’t one to let feelings overcome him, but he can’t even begin to imagine what the girl beside him has just gone through. It takes a great deal of strength to reject the possibility of having everything you’ve ever wanted, and she just had to do it for a second time.

“No… I can keep going. We have a time limit, remember?” she says. He commends her stubbornness.

“Something tells me we can’t keep going on, anyway,” he explains. “The door is still locked, and if I remember correctly we can’t advance to the next floor without going through here.”

He has a suspicion this is what Lavenza meant when she said they’d need to talk to the other Phantom Thieves.

Haru finally gives in and they make their way outside the palace. Before she leaves, he turns to look at her.

“He was wrong,” he says. “What you’re doing can’t even begin to compare to my actions. What I did is unforgivable, and selfish. You’re doing this for the sake of other people even if staying here would be the easiest option.”

The girl seems surprised by his words, probably not expecting this kind of thoughtfulness from him. Even he is a little bit bewildered at his own actions, but the more he gets to see this face of Haru the more he sees himself in her. They’re completely different people and yet so similar at the same time.

“Thank you, Akechi-san,” she says. Then they part ways.

He hopes Lavenza will contact him again tonight. He needs to ask her about that door in the palace and see if his suspicions are correct. 

Luckily for him, that’s exactly what happens.

They exchange the usual greetings, a pleasantry he’s frankly starting to grow tired off, before Akechi asks the question directly.

“The locked door at Maruki’s palace,” he says. “It’s closed due to cognition, isn’t it?”

Lavenza nods. “That's right. In order to open it, you will have to change the cognition of another one of the Trickster’s confidants,” she explains. “I’m afraid completely dispelling the hold the madman has on their minds won’t be possible or, at least, won’t be easy. But just making them doubt the reality they’re in should suffice in this case.”

So that’s what she had meant last time he had visited the room. He won’t be getting any more allies. That’s fine, though. Okumura and he will suffice.

“I’m no Kurusu, but I think I will manage to do it,” Akechi says. He doesn’t know the Phantom Thieves nearly as well as their leader, but he has a good enough grasp on their personalities and backgrounds that he’s confident he can do it. He did manage to snap Okumura out of it, after all.

“Another thing, Harbinger,” says Lavenza. “I’m afraid the pretend God may have found the way to cut us off from you. This is probably the last time we can contact you until you’ve taken him down.”

Inconvenient, but it’s not like he’s had any spiritual guides before. The inhabitants of the Velvet Room have served their purpose, and now it’s up to him to do the rest.

The first thing he does in the morning is sending a message to Okumura about meeting up in a nearby café (not LeBlanc, he refuses to step foot there and his companion seems to pick up on the signs even if she doesn’t say it out loud).

He supposes if someone will know where to start with the Phantom Thieves, it will be one of their actual members.

“So, we need to do the same thing you did to me but to the remaining of the thieves?” she asks, a cup of warm coffee between her hands.

It’s quite early, but they have no minute to spare. The earlier they unlock the next floor of the palace, the earlier they can go through it.

“Not quite the same,” he says. “Maruki won’t allow what happened with you to happen again. But as long as we can plant a seed of doubt in their hearts, it should be enough.”

Haru hums in acknowledgement. “Who goes first, then?”

Akechi takes a moment to take a sip of his own coffee. “I was hoping you’d tell me that. They’re _your_ friends, after all.”

Haru seems to take a moment to ponder their options, trying to determine what the best course of action would be.

“I think we should try with Mako-chan,” she finally answers.

He thinks it’s a reasonable choice. Out of all the Phantom Thieves, Makoto Niijima is probably one of the ones he knows the best. Even if she’s also one of the ones who like him the least. But, considering the situation, it may be for the best.

There’s something else hidden behind Okumura’s choice, though. He can tell. He decides not to pry.

Niijima isn’t hard to find, as she spends most of her time either at school or, in this fake reality, with her family. That seems to be a common point with a lot of the Phantom Thieves. Most of them have lost at least one family member, and seeing them again seems to be what they desire most.

Akechi can’t fault them for it.

“Haru, Akechi-kun,” greets the younger Niijima upon seeing them. “I got Haru’s message about wanting to hang out. I didn’t know you two spent that much time together.”

Okumura and Niijima strike in a conversation about how their weeks have been. He keeps himself out of it, not seeing the point. What would he say, anyway? 

_“Ah, well. I got betrayed by the one person I thought I could trust and now I have to fix his mess.”_

He can already tell this is going to be harder than with Okumura. The other girl had given him a pretty obvious opening, but Niijima seems to be completely oblivious to everything. It’s clear if they’re going to do this, they’ll have to start the conversation themselves.

Haru seems to have the same thought.

“How’s your dad, Mako-chan?” she asks. A smart choice, attacking the root of the problem.

“Huh? Fine, I guess,” Niijima replies. “Dealing with retirement any way he can. What about yours? Are you guys still scouting places for that new Big Bang Burger?”

Akechi does _not_ expect Haru’s answer. “My father’s dead, Makoto.”

If he had been drinking something, he would have spat it. That is one way to go around it, he guesses.

“What?!” exclaims Niijima. “I just saw him the other day, that can’t be. Did something happen?”

There’s concern in Niijima’s voice. Akechi feels almost bad about it. Haru’s face is pained.

“He’s been dead for a while now,” she says. “Please, remember. How’s Sae doing?”

He sees Okumura’s game, now. It’s a twisted one, and not something he’d expect from her, but he’s quite pleased by it. She’s playing with Niijima’s confusion.

“My sister? She’s… fine.” Niijima is visibly confused. “Haru, what’s going on?”

“I don’t quite know what you mean, Mako-chan,” Okumura says, with that innocent smile on her face. “I’m just concerned for your well-being with, you know, the whole thing with Sae being the one maintaining the both of you.”

“It’s okay, my father has a retirement pay,” replies the other girl.

He decides to interject. “Are you sure he does, Niijima? When I worked with Sae, she was always quite stressed.”

Niijima has stopped walking now. “But that… that was because my father…”

He and Okumura turn to look at each other at the same time, and Okumura nods. “You’re the smartest person I know, Mako-chan. And one of the strongest. You’ll figure it out.”

“But this makes no sense, I just saw my father earlier,” she says, lost in thought. “Then why…?”

He thinks she may actually be about to remember, that Lavenza was wrong and Maruki isn’t as skilful as he had seemed. Or maybe they’re just good at this.

But then Niijima clutches her head in pain. “Mako-chan!” Okumura exclaims.

They find the nearest bench and sit her down. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” she says. “I don’t know what came over me.”

 _Bastard,_ Akechi thinks. Maruki is on his guard, it seems.

“It’s okay,” says Haru, squeezing one of Niijima’s hands. “You’ve done well.”

They walk Niijima, who still looks sick with all the colour drained from her face, to her house. It’s her father who receives them at the door. He thanks them for helping his daughter out. Akechi thinks Niijima must’ve been a good man, back when he was alive.

“Now what?” asks Haru.

“Now we go to the palace and hope this was enough,” he answers

Turns out, it is enough. The door that had been previously locked shut can now be accessed, and it seems that it leads to an elevator.

Going through the second floor is more challenging than crossing the first time. Maruki is more on his guard now, which results in a lot more shadows to fight. Amidst the chaos, he realizes he and Okumura actually make a good team when they think their strategies through.

It even looks like Okumura is enjoying herself.

He’s never been one for teamwork, and the first time he actually felt like he could work with someone was with Akira. But, since he’s not naive, he knows the only reason he and Okumura can work together is that they have a common goal.

It all goes well until he’s hit with despair.

He’s been hit by a great number of status effects. He hates them, considers them to be one of the worst things to ever come out of the Metaverse. But this is the first time he’s ever been hit with despair.

He wishes he’d never had to find out what it is like.

He feels like he’s being crushed with anguish. He _thought_ he knew what true despair felt like, but he was clearly wrong. It’s like every little negative thought he’s ever had, every bad thing that’s ever happened to him, all of it it’s coming back to haunt him.

The ever crushing sadness after his mother’s suicide. The horror he felt the first time he killed someone. The nausea after what he did in the interrogation room. The sense of betrayal after hearing Akira’s words at the café, accepting Maruki’s offer.

All of it at once is too much for him to bear.

He barely hears Okumura yell his name. “Akechi-san!” 

It’s like a thick fog is preventing him from reacting, falling deeper into his thoughts instead. He thinks about what it will be like, to be dead once all this is over. He once thought it might be relieving, to finally be able to rest, but now he can’t help to fear it.

The thought of dying is _terrifying_.

He’d been trying not to think about it, to focus on the fact that he’s at least making that choice himself, but now that he’s finally thought about it (albeit not by choice) he feels the fear consume his whole body.

Goro Akechi doesn’t want to die, and it’s about time he admitted it to himself.

When he finally snaps out of it he finds himself in a safe room with Okumura looking at him with a worried expression.

“Are you alright now, Akechi-san?” she asks. 

“Yes, the status effect wore off already,” he answers. 

The pitying expression doesn’t wear off from her face. “I’ve been hit with despair before. Talking about it afterwards usually helps.”

It’s a clear invitation to spill out his feelings, but not one he’s willing to take.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he answers. He will not.

Okumura seems to get the memo, but still eggs on. “Still, I think we should leave it here for today,” she says.

“We will not,” he replies. 

“But—”

_“We. Will. Not.”_

The conversation ends there, and Okumura’s worried expression has changed into a frown. It’s clear she wants to say something, probably something he doesn’t want to hear, but stays silent anyway. 

The rest of the exploration is done with little to no talk between them. The only thing that can be heard within the palace is their shouts as they summon their personas and the screams of the shadows as they’re eliminated.

As they advance, he’s able to observe how different the palace is from the first time they went through it. Aside from the shadows, there’s little to no security measures. There are some puzzles here and there, but none half as hard as they used to be. 

Maruki has let his guard down and it will be his downfall. 

Frankly, he can’t wait to be done with it. It’s repetitive and tiring, and he’s not in the mood for fighting shadows after the previous ordeal.

At this point, he’s too tired and emotionally drained to even fight. Luckily enough, that’s when they encounter another locked door. By the looks of it, it’s just like the other one, which means it probably leads to the third floor.

He turns to look at Okumura. 

“Looks like this is it,” he says. “We probably need to talk to another one of your friends now.”

Okumura still seems upset at him, looking at him with the same exact frown she had at the safe room. “Seems like it.”

He isn’t bothered by her dry answer.

They’re walking to the entrance of the floor when someone gets in their way.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me,” he mutters.

He is, once again, finding himself face to face with another version of himself. Considering his last experience with someone’s cognition of him, he definitely wasn’t looking forward to having to confront yet another one.

But, considering what Okumura had gone through the previous day, he isn’t surprised Maruki is trying his tricks on him as well.

Before his double can even speak, he gets his gun out and shoots him. “I’m not dealing with this bullshit.”

And yet, he doesn't disappear. The bullet goes right through his body. Not a cognitive double, then. Just an illusion created by Maruki, which means it’s not going away that easily.

He thinks this can’t get any worse, but then his double smiles. He recognizes that smile.

 _Hell, no,_ he thinks. _Everything but this._

He would recognize his Detective Prince façade anywhere. He had to deal with it for too many years.

“Why do you look so disgusted?” asks the clone. “I am, after all, the best version of yourself.”

 _“Tsk,_ as if,” he spits. 

His cognitive version’s annoying smile grows wider, and it’s the more entitled thing he’s ever seen. He wonders how there could be people who liked his persona.

“Well, people actually like me, for starters,” he talks. “Isn’t that what you want? To be wanted and adored by other people. To be _special._ ”

It’s humiliating to think about it, and especially to have Okumura hear it. He thinks about it, about how far he was willing to go to make people like him, to the point he stopped being himself around everyone. It disgusts him. Especially because there’s a part of him still seeking other people’s approval.

That’s why meeting Akira was such a relief, at first. He was finally able to show those parts of himself he kept hidden.

A dry laugh escapes him. “If this is Maruki’s idea of how to get me to _agree_ to this reality, he’s even dumber than I thought,” he says. “That might have been my wish once, but I would rather die than have to mask myself behind the Detective Prince once again.”

That sentence has a lot more significance to him and Maruki than it does to Okumura, considering that by rejecting this reality he’s signing his own death sentence.

Okumura’s eyes are fixated on him, trying to read into every single one of his words, wondering how much of what he’s saying is true.

“Easy to say that, but you still sought your father’s approval, despite everything,” he says. “Or did you think you were actually tricking anyone, saying it was all to bring him down? Deep down, you’re just a kid looking for daddy’s approval.”

It’s annoying how accurate this illusion is. The way he delivers those lines, with a soft voice and smile, make it seem like they’re not intended to hurt. But they’re still way too accurate, hit too close to home.

 _“Shut your mouth!”_ he yells. “I want _nothing_ from him.”

The feel of Okumura's eyes on him burns more every second. He understands now, what it must be like to have a palace. To have every little dark secret of yours shown to other people. This isn't even his palace, and he's still suffering that same destiny.

He knows what he's double is saying is the truth. He just doesn't want Okumura to know as well.

"It's okay, it looks like my job here is done," says the illusion, with that _irritating_ voice of his. _"You_ know the truth, and that's enough."

He vanishes after that. He realizes he's trembling in rage.

"Don't say anything," he says to Okumura, seeing she is about to say something. The last thing he wants is to have to talk about this with her.

"I was only going to say that it's weird that he gave up so easily," she says. "It's like he didn't even try to convince you that this reality is the right one."

He supposes she's right, but he's so emotionally drained after having gone through despair and having to face some of his deepest secrets that he isn't up to thinking about what it might mean.

Instead of answering, he starts walking towards the entrance. He's _really_ had enough for the day. He won't admit it to her, but Okumura might have been right when she suggested they leave earlier.

Laying on his bed that night, he knows he's probably going to have nightmares about the events in Shido's ship. They were somehow similar to what had happened today: both instances involved an unbearable clone of himself and spilling his guts to someone he'd rather not know anything real about him.

He tries to focus on other things, like the plan for the next day, but in the end, falls asleep still thinking about what his other self had said.

It made him sick, to think that he still had wanted Shido's approval in one way or another. Be didn't need it, and yet he still sought it like it would make up for the fact that his mother had died before being able to be proud of his accomplishments. Like it wasn't partially his fault she was dead.

The face of Shido's cognitive version of him haunts his dreams that night.

He meets Okumura at the same café as the day before. She looks tired, like she hasn't slept much either, and he emphasises with that.

They sit in silence after greeting each other, until Okumura breaks it. "About what happened yesterday—"

He doesn't let her finish the sentence. "I thought I'd made it clear I didn't want to talk about that, least of all with you."

She seems about to give up, but then her face morphs into something akin to anger once again. "I get why you wouldn't want to talk about something like that, but if you think I don't know what it feels like then you're very wrong."

He opens his mouth to talk, but this time it's her who cuts him off. "No, it's _my_ turn to talk," she says. "Do you think I don't know what it's like, to seek your father's approval despite knowing you'll never really have it? Knowing he doesn't really care about you? I know every bit of what that it's like."

She sighs. "And because I know what it's like, I also know what you're thinking. I want you to know that it's only normal, and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it." Her expression has softened again. "I don't know if this helps at all but... I want you to know that anyway. We might not have the best of relationships, especially considering the circumstances, but I can't sit by and let you go through the same thing I have— the same thing I'm _still_ going through."

He's genuinely surprised by Okumura's words. He realizes he's been unfair to her—for all he thinks about how many similarities there are between them, he forgets it when it's relevant.

It's maybe because she's right, she _does_ understand, that he says his next words. "It does help, somehow," he says. "Your words do mean something because you know what it's like."

She smiles softly. "I'm glad," she replies. "Now, who should we talk to next?"

He looks at her in confusion. "I thought you would tell me that, considering they're _your_ friends."

"Well, you should choose the next target, considering we're a team now," she says. And it's weird to realize that. They _are_ a team. "Also, don't try to act like you don't know us at all. I don't know how many of the Phantom Thieves consider you their friend, probably not many, but you spent enough time with us to at least know us on a surface level."

She's right again, and so he gives it a thought. The next choice seems simple. "Sakamoto," he finally answers. "I think I have an inkling of how to make him remember."

Okumura nods and pulls her phone out, presumably to text Sakamoto. "He's at the track field at Shujin," she says. "Practicing with the track team for the next competition."

Once again, predictable. Maruki's reality is frankly boring with how predictable it is, and he honestly wonders how anyone could actually live in it without getting bored out of their mind.

"Let's go."

They take the train to Shujin, and he takes it as an opportunity to observe his surroundings. Everyone looks so happy, like nothing is wrong, and it's such a contrast from the train rides back in the actual reality. Back then, train rides were always filled with long faces of people either coming back from long shifts at work or going towards them. People who had gotten bad news, or who simply weren't having a bad day.

Here, it's like everyone has all they've ever wanted. And they might as well do, considering that's Maruki's goal.

He wonders how he does it. There's bound to be some kind of contradiction between some people's dreams. If two people dream to win the same thing, it's only natural only one of them will get to have it. He then remembers one of the sections at his old palace, and it makes sense that he would change people's dreams just for the sake of getting them to achieve them. Kitagawa mentioned something similar as well.

It's sickening.

They arrive at Shujin and he lets Okumura lead him to the track field. There, he sees Sakamoto and who he assumes to be his track teammates training. Sakamoto is fast, a lot faster than he was back in their reality, and he guesses that's how he used to be before Kamoshida ruined his life.

"Hey!" shouts Sakamoto at them as he approaches. "You guys come here to see the practice?"

"Actually, we came here to talk to you," says Okumura. "Do you have time?"

"Sure, just let me take a shower first," he replies.

They don't have to wait long before Sakamoto joins them again with a new change of clothes and his hair damp. They sit at one of the rest areas at Shujin while he gets a drink from one of the vending machines.

"What'd you guys need?" Sakamoto asks as he opens a can of soda.

"Oh, you know, just to ask how track is going for you!" says Okumura.

She's being too nice, he thinks. Sakamoto is one of the cases that make him the angriest—he _knows_ how close he was to Akira. His right hand, his best friend and confidant. So the fact that his perfect reality involves going back to his old friends _infuriates_ him.

"Pretty well, I guess." He shrugs.

"Aren't you ashamed of yourself?" he asks, directly. It's a different approach from the one he used for Niijima and Okumura, but he can't seem to care. He has no time to baby anyone.

"Huh? You okay, dude?" says Sakamoto.

"You really don't realize how lucky you are, do you? Akira was there for you, all of you, for everything you needed, but the moment you have the chance you _leave him alone_. At this point, more than his friend it's like he's your therapist."

Okumura is looking at him weirdly, and he realizes he's being unfair. He has no say into the relationships between Akira and the Phantom Thieves, and his view is probably biased. He never had the kind of relationship Akira had with his friends, and even his own friendship with Akira was tainted by the fact he was secretly trying to take him down.

But the fact that Sakamoto has the opportunity to have a true, genuine bond with Akira and just drops it like nothing makes him _so_ mad. Because he'll never know what it's like to not have that opportunity.

"I dunno what you're talking about," answers the blond, but he can already tell something's going on through his head.

"Ryuji-kun... you need to remember," says Okumura now, probably trying to salvage the situation. "These people are no longer your friends, _we_ are."

"Dude, you're confusing me now," he says. "Of course they're my friends, and so are you."

"Oh, for _fucks_ sake," Akechi exclaims. "I thought you were a lot more loyal than that, but I guess you never truly deserved that spot next to Kurusu."

He says that in reference to the fact that Sakamoto is basically his right hand, the person always next to him and one of the original Phantom Thieves, but it looks like he's struck a nerve, because Sakamoto's face lightens up in realization.

"That's right... my place... it's right next to him," he says. That's when his face scrunches up in pain much like Niijima's had done the previous day, but hopefully, it means it will have worked as well. They don't have time to walk him home like they had done with Niijima, considering its already afternoon and he wants to get to the third floor as fast as possible, but Okumura insists.

"We can't just leave him alone," she says. "This is the least we can do."

He wants to tell her they don't own him anything, considering it's his own weakness' fault that he fell for Maruki's control, but one glare from her tells him he doesn't exactly have a choice.

Sakamoto's mother receives them at the door. He feels a pang of jealousy strike his heart. She reminds him so much of his mother—the same soft look, showing signs of the tiredness that comes from working a lot of hours to be able to provide for her son on her own.

He has too much in common with a lot of the Phantom Thieves, and he's starting to realize why Maruki made his perfect reality one where he's friends with them. If it hadn't been for their situation, they could have been very good friends. Or, at least, he thinks they would have understood him better than most people.

He's also starting to see what Akira sees in them. They're all rejects of society—people screwed up by different but similar reasons.

"We should go," says Okumura, and that's when he realizes he's been staring at the closed door of the Sakamotos' apartment for way too long. Just what he needed, another thing for her to question him about.

It's easy to find their way to the latest safe room.

They don't have any plan except to keep going like they've been doing so far. This is only their third floor, and he's more than done with it already. He didn't think Maruki's palace could get more annoying than it was the first time they crossed it, but he has somehow managed it.

When Okumura starts talking, he's so thrown off his rhythm he almost gets knocked down by a shadow. "There's something you haven't told me, isn't there?" she says.

He almost can't hear her over the noises of fighting. "Do you really think this is the moment to talk about this?" he asks between his teeth.

"Well, you aren't exactly kin on opening up," she retorts.

"I simply don't see why I should tell _you_ anything about myself, I thought I'd left that clear enough. It's not your problem."

There are no more shadows around anymore, so they're facing each other now. Okumura's glare is stern on him, a glare he's certain that not many people have ever been subjected to.

"As long as we're a team, it _is_ my problem," she says. "Especially if it's important enough to distract you."

He silently curses. He had hoped she wouldn't notice how absentminded he was being today. His mind refuses to let go of the image of Sakamoto's mother, keeps superimposing it with his mother's.

Goro keeps thinking that he's probably going to see her soon.

"There's just no avoiding this with you, is it?" he asks, exasperated. "I was thinking about my mother, if you must know."

Opening up to someone about his mother is scary, especially to someone who isn't really his friend. The last person he told about her was Akira, and to this day he doesn't know how that happened.

Goro spills his life story to Okumura. Her horrified face tells him that she probably wasn't expecting this, that she was expecting some kind of dark, evil secret he had been keeping from her. Instead, she gets his sad backstory.

"So... that's why you did what you did," she says, more to herself than to him.

He shrugs. The answer is obvious.

Okumura looks lost in thought, as if she's processing everything he just told her. Then she talks. "It doesn't make it okay but... in all honesty, I don't know what I would have done in your place. Maybe I would have done something similar," she admits. She herself seems surprised to this admission.

He can't help but be surprised as well. Again, the only person he knows to have ever admitted something like this was Akira. Everything boils down to him, in the end.

Seeing as he isn't saying anything yet, she keeps talking. "If my mother's death had been my father's fault and I had gotten the power to avenge her, I can't say I would have done exactly the same, but I wouldn't have been an innocent bystander either."

"What you would or wouldn't have done doesn't make you a worse or better person," he states. There's no point in worrying about what-ifs because, in this story, Okumura is one of the heroes and he's one of the villains. Plain and simple.

That's when he notices they've, once again, reached the end of the floor. This time, he's ready for whatever Maruki is going to throw at them.

It is, for the second time, himself.

"One would say Maruki has some kind of obsession with me," he says, bitterly.

In front of them, a child version of himself is standing.

"He's probably just realized how much of a threat you actually are," says Okumura, and if he didn't know better he'd think she was almost trying to joke with him.

"Well, spit it out," he tells the kid, who has just been standing there eerily for the past couple minutes.

"...Won't you be my friend, mister?" the kid asks, voice tiny from the shyness.

Judging by how old he looks, and by the way, he just talked, this version of himself must be the one from right after his mother died. Right before he realized passiveness wouldn't do him any good in this rotten society.

"Just go away," Goro replies. He has no time to deal with this shit, and it's not like a kid could stand between them and the exit.

Then the child's eyes water and he looks down as tears start falling down his face. Okumura sends him another one of her killer glares, and proceeds to approach the child.

She bows down in front of him. "Hey, don't cry! I can be your friend," she says, voice soft and warm.

His younger version starts calming down. "Really?" he exclaims, a big smile now adorning his face. "None of the other kids will play with me... and Mr and Mrs Iwamoto don't let me hang out in the living room, I have to stay in my room so I get bored."

He remembers his first foster home. It definitely wasn't the worst he was in, but it was quite a shock to his young mind. The change from being in a household where he was loved to being in a one where he was nothing but a nuisance was hard on him.

Back then, everyone avoided him, he was just the orphan bastard child. At least, when his mom was around he still had her. But then she had left him too. 

"That's their loss then! You seem like a really fun person to be around, Goro-kun," replies Okumura. It's almost funny, seeing her treat his young version like that. "Is that a Featherman figure? So cool!"

At that moment, he knows she's messed up. His suspicions are correct when his double's face falls again.

"Mom gave it to me for my last birthday..." explains the child. "I miss mom..."

Okumura looks at him with pity on her face. Even if that is his past self, it still irks him to see her look at him like that. Yes, his child situation was very bad, but he had survived it on his own.

He wants to yell that he does too, that there is not a moment when he still doesn't miss his mom. It's embarrassing, but the image of her dead eyes as he found her in the bathroom all those years ago still haunts him. This child just went through that. Still hasn't assimilated he's not going to see her again.

"Goro-kun..." says Okumura. Despite this being an illusion designed to get him, he still has barely intervened, leaving all the work to the girl. "Can I tell you a secret?"

Little Goro looks at her with confusion but nods. "I miss my mom too," she admits. "She's been gone for a long time now but... I don't think I'll ever stop missing her."

Goro wonders where she's going with this, because if she's trying to comfort his other self she's not exactly doing a good job.

"But... she's coming back for me, isn't she?" says the kid, confused.

Okumura suddenly brings him into a tight hug. He can't see her face now, but he imagines she's tearing up.

"I'm sorry, Goro-kun... she's not coming back," tells him the girl. "It won't be easy, but... when you most miss her, always try to remember that she loved you, and that as long as you know that she'll never be truly gone."

The kind buries his head in Okumura's neck and thanks her. Then, he looks up again to look him straight in the eyes. "Thank you, miss. I think I understand now."

Then he smiles at Goro and disappears.

"That was... something," he says. He still doesn't quite get what Maruki's goal was by showing him this.

"You must've had a very hard childhood, Akechi-san," says Okumura, wiping away the few tears she had spilt while hugging his younger version.

He shrugs. "You know, the usual orphaned kid bullshit. I had to learn to do things by myself to survive because none of the foster families I was put in really cared. Constantly missing my mom. All of that jazz."

They leave the conversation at that.

In the silence, Goro thinks about Okumura's words. Did his mother love him? If she did, maybe she wouldn't have left him the way she did. It's not like she had an accident, or died from an illness, she willingly took her own life. She left him, like everyone else.

He knows it's unfair, to talk about such a complicated matter in that way. But it's better than the alternative. Than to have to think that his mother had been so desperate to stop her suffering that she'd rather leave her son, who she loves, alone in this world.

He tries not to think about the old Featherman figure, still tucked in the back of his closet at his apartment.

**Author's Note:**

> rest of the fic coming Soon.
> 
> thank you for reading!! once again here's [my twitter](https://twitter.com/rikubraveheart).


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